A Quest to Re-Discover my Chinese Heritage

I see the opportunity to go to Asia to study to be beyond an academic pursuit. I feel as if I am given the chance to re-discover my Chinese heritage. Being born in Indonesia, even though my family background ethnically is Chinese and we are keeping the Chinese tradition, doesn't always make me feel as a Chinese woman. I never deny my ethnic heritage but at the same time, I am having a hard time to understand the complexity of Chinese culture. Despite the effort of learning Mandarin language in the past, the Chinese teacher always told me that I have an accent when I speak Mandarin. What a sad reality that I am a Chinese by heritage, but can't speak Chinese fluently and with no accent. It takes me a while to feel okay with this fact that I do not have to master everything because I was not born in China and thus it is only natural if Mandarin is not my mother tongue. I do want to learn this interesting language, but I will keep in mind that Indonesian is my mother tongue and Chinese language will be just like English language to me, they are foreign languages. I hope during my stay in Hong Kong, I can pick up learning some Mandarin and Cantonese as learning languages is one of the many ways to learn the culture.

The knowledge and understanding about China for me is simply through books and several tourism visits. Thus, I feel it is a great blessing that I will be in Hong Kong (as part of China) to pursue my doctorate degree while at the same time, I am looking forward to re-discover my Chinese heritage. My uncle, Kusnadi, whom I highly respected always reminds me of an Indonesian proverb: Kacang tidak bole lupa para kulit-nya." (Peanut that should never forget its skin). This is literally means one should never forget the root of where he or she comes from. I never forget that I am an Indonesian as I was born and raised there, I never forget that I am a Chinese as this is my heritage, and of course last but not least I never forget that I am an American as this is the place where I develop my adulthood perspectives and a land where I can always call home.